A letter to self (09.2019)

Dear Jeehye,

I am having a hard time grasping the fact that I will be leaving for Belin in less than a week. I feel like there’s an omnipresent tumor somewhere inside my rib cage that causes slight whirling of my abdominal organs every now and then. I cannot tell whether it is the embodiment of excitement, anxiety, pride, horror, ambivalence, or what. It probably is all of the above – then I cannot stop thinking about how that could work out in the brain. Oh well, you are some damn lucky, privileged human and you have to deal with it. I know you keep wondering why you – but not many others – deserve this. No, you are not entitled to the privileges; nonetheless, you should take full advantage of your fortune. And for the sake of me, I hope you keep these things in mind:

Struggle, wrestle, strive.

*A friendly cliché reminder: life’s a journey.* Do me a favor and please do not stop struggling. I know your greatest fear is stagnation, and keep it this way. I really, really want to live out to the max. I want you to get me all that life has to offer. Stay vigilant, do not be dull.

Stay artistic.

Do not lose that side of you. You have the creative in you, you were born that way. And it’s admirable. Keep in touch with that side of you. It deserves a little more attention than you have granted it the past few years.

Let you be you. Sometimes you might start getting anxious wondering why you cannot be like others. But you’ve been there before and you know there’s absolutely no need to feel that way. Rather than wasting time trying to catch up to others, spend the time and effort to mine the gold in you. Allow the many, many versions of you to happen.

Don’t just learn – absorb.

I want you to become well-versed and well-rounded. That is, I want you to be creative and insightful – not just knowledgeable. I want you to have an expansive outlook, an irreplaceable perspective, a singular footing. Study the human brain. Equally importantly, experience first-hand and take in the horizons of the human mind. Get inspired, inspire others.

Till we meet,

Jeehye